How to be 50: How to Relate to the Kids

Confuse them by using teenage slang. Refer to your spouse as “bae.” Startle your bank teller by saying her counting skills are “on fleek.” If a Chipotle worker didn’t hear your order correctly, loudly shout “Don’t be a hater, man – I said black beans.”

WAIT, THIS PERSON KNOWS ME

How to Be 50

By Charlotte Latvala

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No doubt you come in contact with kids (i.e. “anyone younger than me”) every day.

Who are they? Co-workers, Starbucks baristas, the smartly-dressed youngster who’s appraising your house for a re-fi. Suddenly, the world is filled with baby adults who look like they wandered off a Disney Channel sitcom.   

How do you converse with them, these pink-haired entry-level youngsters? Here are your options:

  • Act like one of them. You know what YouTube is. You like Sam Smith. “We have a lot in common,” you’re thinking. “They’re just younger, slimmer versions of me!” Well, the sad truth is that to a twentysomething person, you are either a) invisible or b) Bizarre Old Person at Work. (Think Creed from “The Office.”) Better options might be:

Creed is a fabulous role model. Creed is a fabulous role model.

  • Treat them like fascinating alien specimens. Examine their tattoos and ask for a…

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